on “real blogging.”

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What is a real blog?

Literally, it’s the shorthand for a web log. Your computer writes logs all the time: crash report logs, cookie logs. Sometimes these involve the web. Ergo, web logs. Ergo, blogs. Your computer writes blogs? Really?

I’m just being silly there. In fact, a real blog is a series of entries plastered on a virtual wall. This is something most people believe, and it is the reason they have so much trouble “keeping up” with writing “the blog.”

It starts with something like this… “Hey guys, I have a new blog! Come check it out!”

5 months later… “hey guys, I wrote a new blog post! Come check it out!”

7 months later… “hey guys, I have a new blog! I got sick of my old one and this one is gonna be updated multiple times a week with what’s up in my boring, pretentious life!”

And so forth.

In fact, if I’m not mistaken, The Oatmeal did a great comic on this that I can’t recall off the top of my head that basically makes fun of everyone who has ever done a “blog” in the past, as in the kind of blog that is really just an excuse for being a digitalized and completely public version of your very, very private journal. Most people don’t keep journals anymore, whether on a Word document they can spew all their l33sp34k into or just in a random spiral wide-ruled notebook–but who cares about a wide-ruled notebook when YOU COULD HAVE SPLASHY LAYOUT COLORS AND WIDGETS AND YOUR OWN DOMAIN (dot hosting service dot com). It makes you look like the hippest nerd ever and apparently looking like something is all that matters.

Thankfully, micro-blogging has come to the rescue in the form of social media, catering visual needs with Pinterest and Tumblr to text-only spews on Twitter to combinations of both written and visual “blog posts” on Facebook. People want to contribute content to the great World Wide of Web, but not all of them can blog “for reals.” So should they ever feel like venting about how stupid their crush is or how awesome the party was, heaven forbid they should feel confined to keeping these thoughts to themselves in a notebook! Why, all you need to do is find a couple of appropriate Ke$ha lyrics and bam, post! Publish! SCREAM so everyone can see how you feel right now!

Of course, if you were a REAL blogger, you would write a far more eloquent and lengthy discourse on the nature of infatuation as it relates to your current crush problems. Granted, nobody would read this, or post a comment unless they were already registered on your same hosting service. But at least it would make you look more intellectual.

Or would it? Is micro-blogging “real blogging”? If you wrote a post of the aforementioned description, assuming that it’s only for your own satisfaction of recording yourself, would you really feel any more satisfied than if you copied a few Ke$ha lyrics and made that your entry for the day? If you blogged nothing but animated GIFs of political debates on Tumblr, are you a blogger? Is that something you can list on your resume–that much-sought-after quality of “blogging” if you’re going for a white-collar creative-type position and all you have is a history of getting “likes” on Facebook every time you post a status? Or should that only be reserved for those elite with the self-owned domains who get at least thousands of hits every day and not because you’re posting slutty smutty stuff that always gets page hits anyway no matter who you are? 

I’m really tempted to make this post a long wall of philosophical musings on blogging-ception, but frankly, nobody likes reading those. Or writing those.

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